


Come Back Home

by FranCV



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:35:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5759662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FranCV/pseuds/FranCV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. One accident took everything from her life. Or it didn't...?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The letter

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago but for a different pairing, it's a short fic but hopefully you guys will like it. Sorry for any mistake! In this AU Ash is a doctor. :)

_I woke up this morning with Ashley’s giggling coming from her room next to mine. Or ours if you want. Today is her sixth birthday, and you are going to miss it, just like every year. She’s getting so big as the years had passed and I swear she’s your lost twin. Sometimes my heart still aches when I see her smiling, her smile and eyes are so similar to yours, even her blonde and soft hair. Just like yours when you were her age._

  _The day she said “mama” I lost it. I cried uncontrollably that night, not before I got her to bed and I was in ours obviously, I hugged your pillow as close as I could to my chest, you always wanted her to call you like that, even when we just discovered I was pregnant after months and months of trying._

  _Ashley has asked me about you only once, she saw photos of young us in the box hidden in the back of my closet when she was helping me to choose a dress for Thanksgiving in the house of my parents last year. I tried to change the subject as hard as I tried to hold back the tears in my eyes when I saw you smiling for the camera and hugging me from behind again with your strong arms in that old photo, but she was persistent. I know that it was the fact she recognized your eyes, and hair, and smile too. Hell, I’m sure for her it was like looking in a fucking mirror. I couldn’t lie to her, I told her you were my best friend, and the person I’ve always loved. Maybe  I whispered the last part just for me to hear it. She let it go after that answer, but I know that she still comes to my room when I’m making dinner in the kitchen to see what else she can found in our box, even after she memorized everything in there, and I don’t blame her, I’d wonder where my other parent it’s too._

  _You’re officially dead for the United States and my brain, but only still missing for my heart. And everything is my fault. Just because of that stupid fight. If it wasn’t for me, you’d still be here next to me watching our daughter running in the yard of the house we bought laughing with her school friends. I miss you so much baby. It physically hurts to don’t have you in my arms._

  _Every time I close my eyes I remember the phone call I got from the police station almost 7 years ago. They told me your plane went missing because of the weather, and they never found it. I just wish that I would have got at least a goodbye kiss from you that day, or hell even a simple and cold hug. It’d be enough for me now. You’d get so mad at me if you knew that I still use your favorite UNC t-shirt to sleep every night._

  _I still cry every time I notice your side of our room. I haven’t moved anything since you left, even when everyone tells me to. I don’t care what they say, I’m not going to forget you by throwing your stuff in our attic anyway. The bed it’s cold at night, and when I reach to your side I have to close my eyes to stop the tears, even after all this time._

  _I know you’re never going to read this letter, and I don’t even know myself why I am writing it, but my mom says somehow it’ll help me to feel better. Yeah, she misses you too._

  _I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought about suicide multiple times, especially the firsts two years after you left. My mom had to move in with me because I was hardly taking care of me and Ashley, I know you’d get so pissed at me if you knew about that too. Sometimes I still get under the water on the tub in our bathroom and I stay there until I have the urge to breathe again and my lungs can’t take it anymore. It’s stupid, but somehow every time I see you giving me your dimple smile to me when I’m almost leaving this world. The only thing stopping me is our beautiful daughter._

  _I miss your perfume. Your voice. I’m almost forgetting how your voice used to sound. I miss your touch. Your steady breathing in my neck when you spooned me in the night. Your tattoed arm round my waist. I miss your soft lips on mines. I miss your fingers in my body, even after all the years we spent together it still surprised me when we made love, because I still got nervous like I did in our first time. I need to hear your laugh again, please tell me how I can, because I can’t close my eyes without having nightmares about losing you again or our daughter, she’s the only thing left I have from you._

  _I was so stupid and immature when I was younger. I still get mad at myself when I remember how I rejected you the first time you confessed your feelings to me. I guess I was just scared of loosing my best friend. I’m glad you decided to gave me another chance. I’m proud that I can say you were mine. You still are. Just like I’m still yours. We were so young and stupid, but definitely madly in love with each other._

  _Our friends miss you too, almost as much as I do. Your brother got married after having his first son 3 years ago, Matt is the cutest boy I’ve ever met. I’m sure you’d love him. Whitney married a nice man and she joked about how you could never aprove him for her. Again, I had to hold back the tears. She had a little baby girl a year after her wedding. After your funeral we I got really close with her, I guess it was because we shared the feeling of missing you our best friend. She probably knew how I feel._

  _I’d never get to tell you the story of why I named our daughter Ashley. I wanted her to have your name, I wanted another Ashlyn Harris in my arms, but it’d have been super selfish from me. My mom convinced and helped me to find a name similar to yours, and when I heard Ashley coming from her lips one night while we were having dinner at her house I knew immediately that that was our daughter’s name. My ring will never disappear from my finger. I still use your last name, I’ll always be Alexandra Harris._

  _Sometimes I catch myself staring the moon in the middle of the night, hoping deep in my heart that you’re doing the same, even when my brain tells me it’s impossible. I miss you so much you can’t even imagine. Please tell me this is just a nightmare and that tonight I’ll hear your key opening the door and your smile will be adorning your beautiful face, even if you’re super tired from saving lifes all day on the hospital. Please come back home. I miss you so much._

 

  _Yours truly,  
Alex._

 

I leave the piece of paper on my nightstand as I hear Ashley entering my room smiling and running to my arms, I catch her and immediately I kiss her everywhere, specially her face, she just giggles like she used to when she was a little baby. She looks into my eyes and I melted when my eyes met her hazel ones.

“Mommy you have to get up!” She says, “Look! The sun is out! Grandma will be here and you’re still in bed!” She’s so exited that I can’t help but smile.

“Okay baby, how sounds if we take a long bath and then we eat breakfast?” Ashley nods, “Your friends will be here in a few hours and we have yet to go get you cake!”

“Only if you promise we sing our song together while washing our hairs!” She claps excitedly again, my smile grows. I know exactly what song she wants. Our song.

“’Cause it’s you and me… And all of the people,” I begin, her face immediately lights up as she sings the next verse.

“And I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of youuuu.”

I smile as I hear her singing that old song but I can’t help but think about you singing it to my ear when we danced it together for the first time. You asked for it to the DJ when we first met. I got up from my bed and begin to walk to the bathroom with Ashley in my arms, her face hiding in my neck and her little arms around my neck. I know she still wants me to sing, and as much as I want to, I can’t without the pain raising in my heart.

Later that day I watch her opening her presents with the biggest smile she can make on her face, her dimple on full display. I’m not going to lie, seeing her happy makes me happy. I feel someone wrapping their arms around my shoulders and I turn to face Whitney smiling sadly at her niece. I force a little smile back for her and she squeezes me hard.

“She looks so much like Ash,” Whit whispers in my ear, “I really don’t know how you can handle it.”

I take a deep breathe before chocking the next words out. 

“I don’t know either.”


	2. Not so normal day

I’m patiently waiting for Ashley to finish her soccer practice so we can go home after a long Friday. She loves the game even at her short age, probably as much as Ash did. It’s been a while since I’ve wrote the letter, almost two years to be exact, and I don’t feel any different. My mom wasn’t right when she told me it’d make me feel better. I still miss her like crazy everyday. Ashley is getting bigger, and just like she had always done, everyday she looks more like Ash. My phone begins to ring inside of my purse and I decide to ignore it, because is probably my mom or Whit, when I see my daughter running to me. I quickly catch her and I let her rest her sweaty forehead in my stomach, she mumbles something, I guess that she said she missed me, as she drops her soccer ball from her arms to wrap them around my legs.

“I missed you too baby.” I say combing her also sweaty hair with my fingers, Ashley untangles herself from me before looking me right in the eye, and like every time, I melted to her hazel eyes.

“I said I’m hungry dummy.”

She’s so similar to Ash it's scary sometimes. I smile at her trying to hide the sadness in my face and she smiles back at me, then she bends down to pick up her ball from the floor. I reach to take her pink backpack from her back, I know it’s heavy and I don’t want her to have pain on her back tonight. I took one of her hands in mine and we begin our short walk to my car parked just in front of her school. Just when I’m about to ask her how school was today I feel my phone vibrating again in my purse, just like the last time, I let it ring.

“What did you do on school today, Ash?” She looks up at me at the sound of her name leaving my lips.

“My teacher said she needs to speak with you mommy.”

I look at her confused, almost worried. I know her teacher since I used to work on her school, that’s why it surprises me, I could say that I’m almost friend with Ashley’s teacher. I decided that it’d be better if we talk about it while we’re eating dinner later today. I feel my daughter letting my hand go when we reach the car, she quickly climbs in the back seat and begins to move her legs, I know her too well to say that she’s nervous. I kiss her forehead and close the door to walk to the driver seat. I turn on the radio and she immediately begins to sing her favorite Taylor Swift’s song. I smile as I begin to drive our way back home.

I wash my face as I look myself in the mirror. I’m not getting younger and everyone can definitely see the dark bags under my eyes, they just don’t say anything about it. Ashley is on her room laying in her tummy on the floor painting one of her books with a smile on her face, I’m glad she forgot about the thing with her teacher, I can’t stand seeing her unhappy.

I decided that we’ll eat chinese food tonight, just because I’m too tired to cook something and also because it’ll be quicker, so I take out my phone from my purse just to see I have 5 lost calls from an unknown number. Just when I’m about to call back, it rings again. This time I decide that it might be important if someone took the time to call me so many times.

“Hello?” I say.

No answer.

“Hello? Is anyone in there?”

“Mrs. Harris? It’s officer Black, we’ve tried to contact to all the afternoon.”

_ Why'd I get a call from the police? _

“Yeah sorry I was busy. Is something wrong?” I ask as I clearly become to get anxious, the last time I got a call like this one it clearly didn’t end up well.

“We need you to come to the station to recognize a body that matches with your wife's description.”

I swear I can feel my heart breaking into million of pieces, and I don’t remember how I am supposed to breathe. I can’t speak, and my cheeks are welcoming the tears falling from my eyes. This can’t be happening. I can’t do it. Please tell someone else. I’m not the only family member she has. Please someone tell me this is just another nightmare and that I’ll wake up on my wife’s arms. When I don’t say anything in a while, the officer speaks.

“I know it’s a difficult situation, but we need you to come here as soon as you can. Maybe tomorrow? And please don’t get here driving by your own, you probably won’t feel really good after the photos I have to show you, it’s dangerous. That’s also not the only thing we need to speak about. I hope we can meet soon Mrs. Harris, I wish you a good night.”

I nod before the line went dead. I don’t even know why I did that knowing that the officer couldn’t see my face. What am I supposed to do now? All the hope I had about having Ash back to me were basically threw for the window. I sit in the couch as I rest my soaking face in my palms. I can’t do this. Why did he call me? Ash’s mom is still alive. So is her brother. What about Whitney?! She’s basically her sister. I can’t. I let the tears fall until I heard footsteps coming from upstairs.

“Mommy! Are you done? I’m hungry!”

I wipe my face with my shirt before my daughter’s face appears from the stairs, she’s still on her soccer clothes but now her hair is in a messy ponytail. I smile softly at her and I open my arms gesturing her to come give me a bear hug. She’s the reason I’m still here. Ashley smiles before running to me, she wraps her still little arms around my legs and I quickly take her up from the ground, so now she’s hiding her face in my neck. I immediately kiss her temple.

“Do you wanna eat Chinese?” I ask softly at her, she moves her head to the sides, basically saying no.

“What about pizza?” She asks, I smile. I knew she was going to ask this.

“Just if you go clean your room.”

She lifts her head from my shoulder and looks at me. _Damn her eyes_ , she has so much of Ash. I kiss her forehead making her giggle, she unwraps her arms from my neck trying to break our hug. I wrap my arms around her again, this time a little bit stronger, making her giggle louder. I smile.

“Then let me go!” She laughs. But I can’t. I can’t let her go. I can’t loose her too.

After having dinner, well Ashley eating most of the pizza because I hardly ate something, I help my daughter take bath. Right now I’m reading her favorite book for her to fall asleep. She knows it by memory, and I like to tease her changing some words. She laughs every time, making it music to my ears. After I finish I kiss her forehead again, and she whispers good night for me. I know I’m probably not going to close my eyes tonight.

The light coming from my tv is the only thing illuminating the room. I have to make a call, but it’s almost 11 pm and I don’t want to disturb Ashley’s godmother, but I know that I can’t do this by my own. She can help me. I take my phone from my nightstand and I dial the number I know by memory, seconds later, I’m greeted with Whit’s voice.

“Hey Als, what’s up? Everything okay?” I know she’s worried, why would I call so late?

“Whit, I- I…” I can’t. I can’t do this. I start to cry immediately. I can’t even breath.

“Ali? What’s going on? Is Ashley? Is she okay?” She asks fast, I can hear her talking to someone in the back, probably to her husband Tom. “Hey you need to breathe. C'mon, let’s do it together. In and out. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I- I got a call from the police station,” I say, “They want me to- to…” I’m choking. I can’t.

“Ali I’m on my way to your house. Please calm down okay? I’ll be there in less than 5 minutes.”

I nod, and again I don’t know why I did that. She can’t see me. I end the call and I curl up in my bed, letting my tears fall into Ash’s old pillow.

Probably I fell asleep last night, because I can see the sun shining in the sky from my window, and I can hear my daughter laughing in the living room, along with a little girl’s voice I recognize immediately. Years ago, I gave Whitney a key of my house for emergencies, and I guess she used it now. I got up and I begin to walk downstairs, I can smell pancakes and fresh coffee coming from the kitchen. I smile softly when my daughter waves at me smiling as big as she can, along with Elise, Whit’s daughter.

“Hey! You’re up!” I turn to see Whitney smiling at me, Tom is sitting in the couch watching a football game, he gives me a small smile.

“Sorry about last night,” I tell her, “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” She says, “But you still need to tell me what’s going on.”

I look at my daughter who’s coloring her favorite book again sitting in the table with Elise by her side. I smile sadly at her, I wish Ash could see how beautiful she is. But now, that wish will never come true. I turn to face Whit again, and the smile in her face disappears when she sees the tears forming in my eyes, she takes my arm softly and we walk into the kitchen, away from the eyes of our children.

“I- I got a call yesterday from the police station,” I tell her, she nods. “They want me to go to recognize a dead body that matches the description I gave them so many years ago.” By this time, I can’t stop the tears. “Ashlyn is really dead Whit, I can’t do this anymore.”

I began shaking, and Whitney wraps her arms around my shoulders. I didn’t know I still had so many tears, I cried a lot last night. My friend moves one of her hands up and down my back, trying to comfort me, it’s not helping, but I appreciate it. I broke our hug to wipe my face with my palms and she smiles sadly at me, I know she’s trying to be strong for the both of us, because I can see the tears in her eyes as well.

“I’ll go with you, Tom can watch the kids for a few hours.”

Whitney parks her car in the police station’s parking lot. We’re immediately greeted by officer Black, he introduces himself as the person who called me yesterday, I simply nod, and this time he can see it. He takes us to his office, and I can see papers on top of his desk. I have a hot coffee in my hand, and even inside of the station I have my sunglasses covering my red and puffy eyes. When I got closer, I immediately saw the photos he told me about yesterday, and I almost dropped my coffee. I can’t. Please let me go anywhere else but here.

“W-Whitney…” I say, she turns around and takes the coffee cup from my hand. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Both the officer and Whit nod, and she’s the one who takes a seat in front of the desk. I see her trembling hands taking the photos the officer hands her. I immediately close my eyes, and I’m sure my heart stops beating when I don’t hear anything coming from my friend’s mouth. The person in the photos is my wife. The love of my life. The only person I’ve ever really loved. The…

“That’s not my best friend.” Whit says, and I swear I came back to life. I open my eyes to look at her and I took off my sunglasses. “Ali, come here, this person is not Ash.”

I walk slowly to her side and I took one of the photos from her hand. The image is pretty graphic, but I’d recognize my wife. And this is not her. I smile again, I still have hope. I wrap my arms around Whit and she hugs me back. I can breath normally again, and my heart’s beating it’s not so fast anymore.

“Mrs. Harris, do you remember what I said in our call right?” I heard the officer speak, I turn to him, and I see he’s taking the pictures to put them again inside of his desk.

“Yeah.” I say.

“Well, there’s something else we need to discuss.” He says, “Can you please take a seat?”

I nod and I take a seat next Whitney, she looks at him confused. I am too. What else would he need to tell us?

“There’s a small possibility that your wife is alive.” He says. “We recently found out about a female unknown patient who has been in coma the last few years. The only thing she had with her was a wedding band with the engraving ‘2.14.2010 A+A’.”

I move my hand to cover my mouth as I feel the tears falling from my eyes. _What is he saying?_

“That’s has to be her!” Whit says. “Why are we still here?! Take us where she is!”

Oh my god. I can’t even speak. Ash is alive. She’s here. She’ll be in my arms again. I’ve missed her too much.

“That’s the problem,” officer Black says sadly, “They’re going to disconnect her. She’s not responding to the treatment. And it has been almost a decade. She needs a miracle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there she is, but will she make it? :o And yup they got married on Valentine's day hahah. :)


	3. I can't lose you again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We see some flashbacks here :)

If it wasn’t for the help Whit’s hand is giving me by pushing me in the middle of my back I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to move at all. I’ve been crying since the conversation we had with officer Black at the station. He was really nice and patient with us, after the news he gave us both me and Whitney broke down to tears right in front of him. He tried to convince us that it was for the best, and that Ash tried fighting a lot but it’s not fair for her to be living connected to so many machines. I know he’s right but I can’t accept that. How am I supposed to get into a hospital room and watch how my wife is taking away from me again? And this time, for good? In front of my eyes? I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I barely breathe anymore, and that helps me to mute the sobbing sounds that are begging to come out of my mouth. Ashlyn is alive, well, kind of, the machines are keeping her heart beating, not the love she had for me. I liked to think that I was over the situation years ago, but clearly I never was.

The smell of the hospital makes me sick. Whit left me sitting in the waiting room while she and the officer went to talk with one of the nurses at the reception. Now I’m on my own again. I can’t stop my mind from wondering how the paramedics brought Ashlyn here so many years ago, recreating the scene in my head, probably she was already dead, or barely alive. How am I going to go back to my house and explain to my daughter that I just saw how her mom died? And I couldn’t do anything to stop it? There has to be a solution. I’d pay. I can do anything, except one thing: going back in time.

 

  
_“Alex are you even hearing yourself right now?” Ash raises her voice, “I already lost my plane!”_

  _We’re in the porch of our house, I have my hand in Ash’s arm and I’m standing in front of her, blocking her way to the taxi awaiting for her. I absolutely hate fighting with her, but she can’t go this time. She has to come with me. Why she can’t understand this? It’s my first ultrasound of our baby and I’m not going alone._

  _“You can’t go Ash!” I yell, “You’ve been leaving me alone every damn weekend for the past month! Do you think I’m having fun dealing with the morning sickness basically by my own!?”_

  _I know she has to go to those meetings for the hospital, I don’t even know what shit she’s doing in DC, and if I’m being honest I don’t care. It’s just this Friday, for heaven’s sake._

 " _You know I can’t just skip this Ali! It’s for my work!”_

 " _Are you cheating on me?” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them, I look into Ashlyn’s hazel eyes and I can see pure anger forming, it’s scary. Fuck. What did I just say? I immediately step back, freeing her arm from my cold hand._

  _“Are you fucking kidding me?” She laughs loudly, but clearly not because she’s enjoying the situation. “Why don’t you answer that to me first?”_

  _I can feel the tears in my eyes and I immediately look down to my feet. Ashlyn will never let that go, will she? I was drunk and pissed, and it was just a kiss. And that was when I thought she was cheating on me while she was in college. It’s been so long but every time she brings it back when we’re fighting, even for most small thing. When I don’t say anything, she starts walking to her awaiting taxi, but not before looking back at me and speak again._

 " _I bet that child is not even mine.”_

  _And with that, I barely can see the yellow car disappearing from my eyes through the tears._

 

I can see Whitney on the phone, she’s probably talking with her husband or Ashlyn's old mother. Ashlyn and Whitney are basically like sisters. Ashlyn’s mother never liked me, and that wasn’t a secret, not even when me and Ash were married. She barely knows her granddaughter. I’m sure she always expected that her daughter would turn straight overnight, that she’d marry the perfect guy and have babies with him. And obviously that her sexuality was only a teenager phase. Of curse nothing of that ever happened. Ash was mine since high school just like I was hers, but we made it offical when we got married behind everybody’s back. I can’t stop the little sad smile forming in my face, and I immediately look at the ring in my left hand.

 

_What everyone says it’s true, this place is so awesome. I’ve never been out of Florida before and walking around Las Vegas with Ashlyn holding my hand after having her back from college it’s all I’ve ever needed and wanted. The distance is officially over. I’m so proud of her, she just made her dream come true, she finally graduated as a doctor. It took her a little less than her classmates, because duh she’s just perfect. We got here yesterday and I already fell in love with the place. This is probably the best vacation we’ve ever spent together._

_“What if we go get some drinks at the hotel, baby?” I turn my head to face a pair of hazel eyes staring at me adoringly and a big smile on Ash’s face. I nod extremely excited and she laughs softly, giving me a little kiss on my temple. Ugh I love the small height difference_.

_After our third round of tequila shots the things turned a little heated between us, specially for me. I just couldn’t keep my hands off of my beautiful girlfriend. And yeah the fact that there were a lot of girls staring at Ash got me a little possessive. But only a little bit. She just laughed when even the bartender wrote her number in a napkin and passed it to her when she thought I wasn’t looking. Goddammit, why does Ashlyn has to be so hot? When this girl tried to flirt with my girlfriend in front of my eyes I lost it. I grabbed Ash’s neck and I kissed her rough, pushing my tongue inside of her mouth immediately. She moaned before she broke our kiss only to pay our drinks and take us to our room._

  _A few hours after we were laying in our backs staring at the hotel ceiling trying to catch our breath. God, I swear she’s the most talented person when it comes to this. I turn to my side to watch her face, and I bring my hand to wipe the sweat from her forehead, even with her eyes closed she gives me the biggest smile I’ve ever got. I kiss her shoulder as I rest my head in her chest. I feel her hand tracing figures in my back and I sigh softly. I get caught a little off of guard when Ash climbs on top of me, she laughs at my shocked expression._

_“Ash I can’t,” I say, she laughs louder, she uses both of her hands to support her body from crashing on top of me. “Not again, baby, you’re insatiable.”_

_But she doesn’t laughs anymore, I search for her eyes worried that she’s mad at me, but I only see love and adoration. The smile on her face haven’t disappeared yet. And if I thought I was off of guard when I felt her on top of me again, her next words took me by surprise._

" _Alexandra Blaire, will you marry me?” She says, in the most serious tone I’ve ever heard her speaking with. “Look where we are. In Vegas. Just the two of us, we don’t need anyone else. I’ve loved you since I have memory, please make me the most happiest woman on this earth,” I can feel her soft thumb wiping a single tear from my cheek. “Don’t cry beautiful, please just say something.”_

  _I don’t say anything. I just close my eyes, grab her neck and I kiss her sweetly, I’m sure that’s all the answer she needs. She jumps from the bed and runs to our suitcases, I sit on the bed resting my back in the headboard and I smile at her. I see her take out one of my  white dresses I didn’t know I packed and for her, a brand new black suit._

_“You’ve planned this, huh?” I say smiling as I wipe the tears from my cheeks, she looks up at me and her smile somehow grows bigger, and I don’t know how that’s even possible. I stare at her naked body more than I should have and she obviously notices._

_“Go take a quick shower, you perv. It’s past midnight. Happy Valentine’s Day baby. Or, soon to be my lovely wife.”_

_I see her walking to me again and she only pecks my lips, we both know that if we start kissing again, we won’t be leaving this room anytime soon. I’m getting married to the love of my life. In Las Vegas. I’m completely sure that I won’t stop smiling tonight._

 

I knew immediately when Tammye entered the hospital, because she started screaming at everyone about where her daughter was and why she is going to be disconnected. I don’t want to look at her. And she doesn’t come to say hi to me either. I’d never understand how Ashlyn is not like her mother at all. I feel a hand in my shoulder and I look up to see Whit giving me an apologetic look. I only shrug. I haven’t said a single word since we talked with the officer, and I hope she doesn’t want me to start talking now. Whitney takes a seat next to me and I rest my head on her shoulder. I began to cry immediately. Please let me go, I can’t be here.

“The nurse said that they’re glad they could identify her,” Whit whispers, “They are going to disconnect her in a few hours, she asked me if we wanted to be there and I said yes, I’m so, so sorry Ali.” I know she’s crying too when I heard her voice crack at the end of her little speech. I shrug again. “I asked them if we could go to see her, and they said yes, but no more than 2 persons at the same time. I know Tammye is on her way there now, would you like to go too? I can wait.”

I simply shake my head, she gives me a small hug before standing up and leaving me here alone again. I see her disappearing with a nurse in front of me, and I can’t stop the memories again. I’ll have to live the rest of my life only with the memories I made with her. Knowing that, she’ll be forever alive in my mind and heart.

 

  
_“I like this one.” Ash says, “It has a big yard, I can teach our kids to play soccer.”_

_I look at her raising one of my eyebrows, I have to bit my lip to stop the laugh I almost let scape from my lips. Ashlyn hasn’t played soccer since high school, but dear god it was so hot seeing her doing it. I’ve always been her biggest fan. She smiles at me and wraps her strong arms around my waist. We’re in the middle of searching for our house. House hunting can be exciting, especially when you imagine your life happening while you walk inside looking everywhere, trying to think about what to exactly buy to make it feel like home. Call me cheesy if you want, but I love imagining about waking up on the weekends with kisses from my wife and giggles coming from the rooms of our children. I can definitely see myself taking pictures of Ash decorating our house for Christmas, helping our youngest to put the star right on top of the tree. This house has 4 rooms, which means we can have 3 kids, exactly how I’ve ever wanted._

_“I like this one too.” I smile looking at her. God I love her eyes. “But you’ll have to help me clean, this is one is too big. Are you sure we can afford it?” I ask._

_She kisses me, ignoring all the other people around us who are looking at the house too. Ash has always liked to be affectionate, she doesn’t care about what the other people say or think. She smiles at me before she walks to the owners of the house, making sure to be the first one. This is our house, and I knew it since we entered the front door. I can’t wait to make it feel like home. I know that if I have Ashlyn by my side, we could be living under a bridge and it’ll still be my home. I can’t wait to make memories with her here for the rest of my life._

 

I was nearly falling asleep when I feel someone touching my arm. I almost jumped, I can hear the owner of the hand apologizing and I immediately recognize Whitney’s voice again. I look at her and I see her now red eyes. Tammye walked next to us, and again, she didn’t come to say something to me, and I’m glad she didn’t. Whit takes my hand and she helps me to get up, I tried to resist, but she’s stronger than me since I haven’t eat anything today besides half of my coffee.

“I’m gonna take you to Ash’s room. I’ll go to the cafeteria with her mom, so you can have privacy with her.” Whitney says, her voice is so broken it makes me wants to cry again.

We begin our way to Ash’s room and once again I need help to move, Whitney placed her hand in my back. We take the elevator to reach the 4th floor, and when I see the metal doors opening in front of me I feel my stomach twist. How am I going to say goodbye to my wife when I can’t even speak? Or breath normally? After walking through the halls we’re finally standing in front of a closed door, and even from outside, I can hear the constant ‘beep’ that lets me know Ash's alive inside there. I turn around and I’m about to try to run away when I see Whit looking at me with tears falling from her eyes.

“You’ll regret for the rest of your life if you don’t say something to her now. Believe me. You can do this. Tell her about how your life has been. Don’t let her die without knowing how perfect her daughter is. I didn’t mention that to her, neither I let her mom, I’m sure she’ll love to hear about Ashley, Ali.” I nod softly moving my eyes from hers to look at my feet. “Don’t let her die without telling her how much you’ll miss her. Please.” With that, she turns on her heels and begins to walk to the elevators, without looking back at me.

I open the door with my whole body shaking. Whitney’s words are stuck in my head, I know she’s right. It’s been so long, I don’t know what I am going to do. I enter the room and I close the door behind me. I can’t turn around. I can’t look at her. The sounds coming for the machines are already making this worst. I take a long and deep breath and I turn to look at the person who’ll always have my heart. I’m still shaking when I fall to my knees in front of her bed. She’s laying there, almost not here, her soft and blonde hair all around her face, her arms on both or her sides. She hasn’t changed. She’s still the Ashlyn from my memories. The person I fell in love with so many years ago is in front of me again. I decided that if I’m going to do this, I’ll do it right, I can’t be on the floor. I use support on her bed to stand up again and I sit in the small space on the bed where I don’t feel her legs. I can’t believe this. I’ve always dreamed about having her with me again, and still I can’t form any coherent word to say. I reach to take one of her hands, I intertwine our fingers, and when I don’t feel her thumb caressing my palm I remember why I am here. Immediately I began to cry.

“H-Hey…” I whisper, I took a deep breath trying to remain calm. “Do you remember me? ‘Cause I haven’t forget you. I’ll never be able to.” I look at her face, and with my free hand I put some of her hair behind one of her ears. “I’ve missed you so, so, so much baby, you can’t even imagine. It’s been so hard for me since you left. I don’t know how I make it here.” I’m being completely honest. I look at her face, and God, I want to kiss her so badly. “Do you remember our fight? I just want you to know that I’m sorry about making you lose your plane. I’m sorry about being insecure, you’re just too perfect and I was afraid of losing you. And hey, look where we’re now, I’m about to lose you now for real.” I’m surprised that I still have tears falling from my eyes. I didn’t know I could cry so much in one day. “You’d never get to meet our daughter, Ash, she’s so much like you it surprises me sometimes. Baby she’s your fucking twin. Ashley is so similar to you it’s scary, she’s the reason I’m still here.” I can’t. Please help me. I begin to sob uncontrollably in front of her, and she can’t comfort me anymore. “A-Ash please wake up. I’ve missed you so much, I love you, I’m love with you. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it. Please, or take me with you. Please, I’m b-begging you.” I can’t resist it anymore, even with the tears still falling from my eyes I cup her cheek with my free hand, and I kiss her with everything I have. Her lips are almost cold, but that doesn’t stops me. I know I’m getting her face wet because of my tears, but right now, I don’t give a single fuck.

I can hear people talking, getting close to the room, especially doctors, and I recognize Tammye’s sobs. They’re coming to disconnect Ash. Please, no. Leave her alone. She can’t die. No. Please.

Just when I’m about to run to lock the door, I feel my fingers getting squeezed back. I look down with my heart almost leaving my chest and I clearly see Ashlyn’s fingers moving to finally intertwine our hands. I look at her face expecting to see those beautiful hazel eyes I see everyday in our daughter’s face, but they are still closed. I lift our hands and I kiss her wrist before running to the door. I need to lock it. Someone opens the door before I could lock it and I’m now standing in front of a doctor, a nurse, Whitney and my mother-in-law. They look at me strange, and just then I realize that I’m really smiling for the first time in years. Why’d I be smiling when they’re coming to basically kill my wife? Oh yeah right! Because she fucking squeezed my hand!

“Ali are you okay?” Whitney whispers to me.

“She squeezed my hand!” I almost yell, “You can’t disconnect her! She just did it!”

The doctor gives a look to the nurse and she comes closer to me. She presses one of her hands in my forehead, and I look at her. She takes my arms and I try to liberate myself from her grip. They want me to leave the room!

“I swear I’m not lying!” I say, I move my arms and I’m free again. I immediately run to Ash’s bed and I take her hand again, expecting to feel her fingers again. “B-… Baby.” I whisper when she doesn’t move, the smile from my face is long gone. “Please do it again. You just fucking took my hand. Please show them. Just one more time, baby.” I say, now I’m crying again. I hear the doctor saying something to the nurse, and she tries to take my arms again. I lay next to Ashlyn and I bury my face on her neck. “This can’t be happening. Please. Open your eyes. Show them you can do this. You can’t leave me. Not when I just got you back. Please Ash.” I whisper closer to her ear. I feel someone grabbing my arm.

Just when I’m about to surrender and leave the bed and the room for my own good, I hear a collective and loud gasp, followed by Whitney and Tammye almost yelling _oh my god_. I look at them falling to their knees, just like I did when I first entered this room. What’s going on?

“H-… H-Hey b-… baby.” Whispers a hoarse and raspy voice next to me, with my heart almost leaving my chest again I look up to meet the same pair of hazel eyes I’ve seen the past years on my daughter's face. This is why Whit and my mother-in-law I almost yelled, but I can’t even speak. I immediately wrap my arms around Ash’s neck and I begin to cry uncontrollably, only to feel her tattooed arm wrapping around my waist again.


	4. Little Ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say that there might be an interesting part here lol so if you're not into that kind of writing, skip the first flashback :)

I don’t know how long I’ve been in Ash’s arms, I’ve completely lost the track of time, but feeling her fingers slowly tracing figures in my skin again, exactly where my t-shirt lifted when I laid down next to her, I swear, it’s the best thing that have happened to me in so many years, besides having Ashley of course. It feels so right, like no time has passed. I’m not longer crying, and it’s only us in the room, a couple of doctors came to take some tests on Ashlyn like an hour ago and when I refused to leave her side, the older doctor just smiled. From the look on their faces everything seems fine, she’s literally a miracle. I wanted to ask them when she could _come back home_ with me, but keeping my lips close to Ash’s neck, giving her small kisses when she tried to explain how she feels, was more important. She was a little surprised when they told her how long she was in coma.

Whitney and Tammye leaved a couple of hours after Ashlyn woke up, the only thing I remember hearing from Whit is that she said she’ll take care of Ashley today, I only nodded, not wanting to untangle my body from Ash’s side. I don’t want to make her speak to me, I heard the doctor saying it was better if she just rested for the next few hours, so I only let her caress my hand with her thumb. I kiss her jaw one more time before we both hear my stomach growl. Ash chuckles softly and I feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Y-you should go… eat something.” She whispers. God I love her voice so raspy. “I’m not going… a-anywhere.”

I look up at Ash and I see a cute little smile on her face. I can’t resist it, so immediately I give her a little and sweet kiss. But she obviously had another plans. The moment our lips connected, her hand leaved mine and I felt her warm palm on my face. I couldn’t help but smile. So I did the same. I used my fingers to touch her face. Her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, and finally, to cup her jaw. Even with my eyes closed, I still remember perfectly her face. I need to touch her, so I know this is real and not a dream. She opened her mouth welcoming my tongue when I nibbled her bottom lip. The moan I heard coming from Ash's mouth when our tongues made contact drove me insane. God, the effect she had on me never disappeared. I was about to jump on top of her when I remember where we were. I ended our make out session and she pouted at me.

“We can’t do this, baby.” I whisper close to her lips. She kissed me again, but this time, only peck. “We are in public, and look, in a hospital! You have to rest. I’m serious.”

The pout on her face slowly became a smirk. She raised one eyebrow at me and I swear I’m going to die right here, right now in her arms. I know exactly what she’s thinking about.

“T-that never stopped us before.” She says, and God, she’s right.

  
_I love shopping. Who doesn’t? But I love more the look on my wife’s face -I still haven’t get used to call her like that- when I take her from one store to another. She’s clearly not enjoying this. I like picking a lot of clothes and take my time on the dresser, just to piss her off more. She’s so cute when she’s mad. I know she’s outside waiting for me because I can hear her playing that weird game on her phone. I take a look at myself in the mirror in front of me before I call her. I’m sure Ashlyn thinks is because I want her opinion on the whatever I tried on, but this time, it isn’t._

_ “If you want me to look at the same dress again I swear I’m going home alone Alex.” She says, now in front of the closed door. “And open the door, I can’t see you.” _

_ I bit nervously my bottom lip before I unlock the door, she opens it and the pissed off look on her face disappeared when she sees the lingerie set I have on. A pair of matching black and pink lace are the only thing covering my body. Ash puts her phone back on her pocket before she entered in the dresser with me, ignoring the looks everyone is giving her. She locks the door behind her before she grabbed my hips and kissed me, hard. _

_ I tried to stop her before someone come to gets us both off of the store, but instead, Ash picked me up using both of her hands on my ass to keep me from falling and I inmediatly wrapped my legs around her waist, then she pushed me to the wall. Feeling the cold wall on my back sent chills to my body. Soon, her lips were exploring my neck. God, we need to stop this. I won’t be able to resist it. When she sucked on my pulse point, I lost it. I threw my head back, almost hitting it on the wall. Ash laughed softly. _

_ “God you’re so hot.” She whispers on my ear. Holy shit. “But you’ll have to remain quiet now babe.” _

_ What is she talking about? _

_ Oh fuck. Now I know. _

_ When her long and expert fingers moved the lace panties to the side, I squirmed on her strong arms. Her lips attacked mine again, and thank God she did it, because I almost screamed when I felt two of her fingers entering me without the normal teasing she always uses. I tried to keep the sounds that were begging to come out of my mouth by trying to kiss her back, but I failed when the movements of her hand quickened. _

_ “Fuck Ash.” I moan on her lips. She kissed me again, we both know that if I let one more sound to escape from my mouth we’re screwed. _

_ Ashlyn quickened her movements again, and God, I’m so close. I grab the back of her neck with both of my hands, letting my fingers get lost on her blonde hair. I was about to moan softly on her lips again, when we heard someone knocking on the door. I jumped, and I’m not sure if it was because of the sound, or the things Ash is doing to me. _

_ “Everything okay in there?” Says someone, my wife clears her throat before speaking. _

_ “Yeah,” she says. “We’ll be out in a minute.” Her voice is so raspy that I almost moaned only because of it. _

_ “Okay.” Says the mysterious person again. _

_ Ash looks at me and I see pure lust and desire on her hazel eyes. Did I mention that she haven’t stopped her fingers? Oh no. I’m close again. I had to bite my lip to suppress any sound when I feel her lips on my neck again. This is killing me. _

_ “Come for me baby.” Ashlyn whispers in my ear at the same time her palm came in contact with my very sensitive clit. _

_ I completely lost it. I jumped over the edge just like I did this morning in our bed, and in the shower. I used the grip I had on her neck to move her head up so I could kiss her as my body shivered in her arms. After a few seconds, she let go of me and I had to grab her hand when my feet touched the ground again. Shit. I can’t feel my legs. _

_ “We’re so buying this.” She says with the lust on her eyes still alive. And I couldn’t agree more with her. _

 

Ash brings me back from my thoughts when she caressed my arm. She kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes. I don’t wanna leave her even if it’s just for the night. But I have to go get Ashley from Whit’s house, I have to help her to take a bath and make dinner for us. God. Why I can’t bring Ash home with us too?

“Visitation hour is almost over.” I whisper, she nods. “I have to go get Ashley too.”

I look at her and I find a sad smile on her face, I know she doesn’t want me to leave either. I feel Ash’s arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer to her, and I rest my head on her chest. Hearing her steady heartbeat makes me so happy. I can’t help but smile. I missed it so much, especially at night when I used to sleep on her chest. Ash moves her free hand to play with my hair. Ugh. Just let me stay here with her forever. After a long and quiet moment, she speaks.

“How is she?”

“Who?” I ask confused.

“Ashley. Our daughter.” She whispers. _Oh._

I open my eyes and I see hers forming tears. She haven’t meet our kid, her lost twin. Now I want to cry too.

“Do you remember yourself when you were 8 years old?” I ask her. Ash only nods. “Well, that’s basically her. She so caring with everyone, and happy all the time. Just like you when you were little. She’s the reason I’m still here. She looks exactly like you. The blonde hair, the hazel eyes, even her smile baby.”

I move my hand up to wipe Ash’s cheeks with my thumb. I don’t like when she’s crying. She’s the strong one. Seeing the tears falling from her hazel eyes breaks my heart. I want to take her sadness away. I want her to be happy.

“Can you… Can you bring her tomorrow?” She asks again, her voice almost breaking at the end of the sentence. What kind of question is that? Obviously I’ll bring our daughter.

“Of course I will baby. I’m sure she’ll love to meet you.” I say, still wiping Ash’s tears.

“Does she know about me? Or…?” She ask again.

Ashley do knows about her. Well, kind of. I don’t want to lie to my wife, but neither I want to break her heart more by telling her that our daughter doesn’t know about her other parent. I was waiting for Ashley to grow up a little more before I completely tell her about her other mom, after all, she was dead until this morning for me. That’s not something you tell your little kid.

“Kind of.” I whisper. “She do knows you exist, just not that you’re her mother too.”

Ash nods. I hope she understands the situation, I don’t want her to be mad at me. Before I could say something, a nurse entered the room with Ashlyn’s dinner. God that smells awful. But I’m hungry.

“Visitation hours are over, miss.” She says looking at me. “And I’ll need you to leave the patient’s bed, please.” I nod at her and I look at Ashlyn, I give her a long and sweet kiss before the nurse cleared her throat. I left Ash’s bed with my cheeks burning again.

Ash looks at her food almost disgusted. The nurse gave me a look before she leaved the room. I don’t want to go. I walk slowly to my wife’s side and I kiss her cheek making her smile. She takes the fork from the tray and begins to eat that weird thing in front of her.

“I have to go baby, but can you promise me you’ll eat that?” I ask her, she looks at me and nods with her mouth full of food. “We’ll be here tomorrow morning, okay? Me and Ashley.”

Ash’s face lights up at the sound of our daughter’s name. I smile. God I’m so in love with her it’s unreal. I think I’ve never been so excited to sleep in so many years. I just can’t wait to go to bed and sleep so I can come back to her arms tomorrow.

“I love you.” I say and I kiss her cheek one more time.

“I love you too.” She says with her mouth full of food. Someone will probably think that that’s disgusting, but for me, hearing those words coming from her again, it’s everything I need.

I open our house door and Ashley runs inside. She doesn’t like the rain on her hair. She obviously got that from me. My little princess. I smile when I see her running upstairs to her bathroom to wipe her face with a towel and change her wet clothes. When I picked her up from Whit’s house she told me how much fun she had with Elise and uncle Tom playing soccer on the park before the rain started. She was so mad I couldn’t help but laugh. I can’t wait her to meet Ash tomorrow. I’m excited, but mostly scared of the reaction she can have.

I walk to the kitchen and I immediately begin to cook some mac n cheese, my daughter’s favorite dinner. After like 5 minutes, I hear footsteps coming from the stairs and just a little bit later, Ashley is behind me smiling as big as she can. I open my arms and she wrap hers around my legs, resting her head on my stomach. She’s getting so big, I don’t want her to grow up. She’s my little baby. I move my hand up and down her small back, and I smile when I start to tickle her. She removes her arms from my legs and laughs loud.

“Mommy stop!” She says laughing. “I have to go to the bathroom!”

“Liaaaaaar!” I say, refusing to stop my attack. I love hearing her laugh. I hate when she cries, just like when Ashlyn does, it breaks my heart. I can’t help but think about when Ashley was a newborn, and how stupid I was.

  
_“Alexandra wake up!” I hear my mom yelling from the kitchen, or the living room, I don’t fucking care. I’m awake after all. “Your daughter is crying! Look how late it’s, she’s hungry!”_

_ I can’t look at Ashley. I can’t. She’s the alive version of Ash, I swear. I can’t stand looking into her hazel eyes, or see her blonde hair. Fuck. Just leave me alone. The only thing I’ve been doing lately is cry on Ashlyn’s side of the bed. It’s been over a year since she left, but I can’t get over it. And I’m sure I won’t do it ever. She was the love of my life, and I lost her. Forever. And it was because of me. I killed her. I made her late and she lost her original plane. This is all my fault. Why I am so selfish? Why? Can someone answer that for me? Please? _

_ I don’t know how long it has been since my mom yelled me from downstairs, but when I hear Ashley crying and my mom opening the door I jumped. Please just leave me alone. _

_ “Alex open your eyes!” Uh she’s mad. “You can’t do this to your daughter!” _

_ I sit on the bed using my elbows to support my body. My mom turns on the room’s light and fuck, I need to cover my eyes. That hurts. _

_ “She already lost one parent, Ali.” My mom speaks again as she walks around the room trying to stop Ashley’s sobs. I have to admit that hearing her crying makes my heart ache. “We all miss Ashlyn, I loved her as my own child, but you can’t do this to Ashley. Is not fair for her. She needs you.” _

_ I know she’s right. I need to be strong for my daughter. I need to protect her, I don’t want her to feel what I am feeling. She has to be happy. At least, I’m sure that that’ll give me happiness too. That’s what Ash would have wanted. _

_ I wipe my face with my forearm before I open my arms to take my daughter from my mom’s arms. I kiss her little forehead with my still trembling lips and she stops crying immediately. But she’s obviously still hungry. I take her little hand in mine and I smile with tears falling from my eyes again when she closes her little fingers around my pinkie. I haven’t been so close to her since she was born. My mom had been taking care of her in the past 3 days, but Ashley needs me. And I need her too. She’s the only thing left I have from Ash. I’ll make sure that from this moment, nothing bad ever happens to her. _

 

After having dinner, I’m currently helping Ashley to take a bath. She loves it, and you can tell because she’s been smiling since the hot water touched her body. I love seeing her happy. I need to tell her about Ash, and that tomorrow we are going to the hospital to see her. Why is this so difficult? I’m scared, I don’t want her to hate Ashlyn for not being in her life, or me, for not telling her about her other mom. I stop combing Ashley’s hair and she looks at me confused, but still smiling.

“What is it mommy?” She asks me in her most innocent tone.

“I… I need to tell you something, baby.” I whisper, why are my hands shaking?

Ashley doesn’t say anything, she just looks at me expecting my words. I take a deep breath to remain calm before I finally speak.

“Do you remember that photo you saw a few years ago on my closet?” I ask, she nods. “You asked me about the other girl in the photo, do you remember her?” She nods again. “She… She’s your mother too baby.” Well that wasn’t so hard.

I look at my daughter and just like always, she has a smile on her face. She hasn’t say anything about Ash, and I’m dying to hear what she’s thinking. I was about to speak again, but she did it first.

“I know mommy.” _What?_ “You have a lot of things with her, and look!” She points at her face, “I kind of look like her, don’t I? Michael, a boy in my class, says that he looks exactly like his father, and I look like my mom, don’t I?” I didn’t know I was crying until Ashley reached to caress my cheeks with her wet hands, “Don’t cry mommy, it makes me sad.”

I smile at her and I bend down to kiss her face, I wrap my arms around her body, and she laughs, God that’s music to my ears. I hug her close to me ignoring that my clothes are getting wet. I love her so much, and I can’t wait her to meet Ashlyn tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll love our daughter as much as I love her. And now, I’m completely sure that Ashley will love her mom too.

The car ride was short. My daughter didn’t sing her favorites songs on the radio, instead she was looking out from the window smiling when she saw someone with a dog, she has been asking me for one, maybe we can have a dog now. I parked my car in the hospital parking lot and my daughter jumped out immediately. Maybe she’s more excited than I am. I told her where we were going this morning when we were having breakfast and she ate her cereal as fast as she could. She’s adorable. I walk to her side and she takes my shaking hand. We entered the hospital, and just like Ashley always do, she waved or smiled at almost everyone. We slowly made our way to the elevators, she asked me in which floor her mom is because she wanted to push the button. I’m so excited, I’ve dreamed about this moment for so long, to finally see Ashley in Ashlyn’s arms.

When we finally reached Ash’s room I put my finger on my lips and I looked at Ashley, gesturing her to be quiet because Ashlyn could probably be sleeping. She nodded smiling. I opened the door and I saw Ash lying in her bed watching tv. I entered the room and she looked at me smiling, but when she saw Ashley hiding behind my legs, Ash’s eyes started to form fresh and new tears as she covered her mouth with her hand. I take my daughter’s hand and she slowly walked in front of me.

“Ash, say hi.” I whisper close to Ashley’s little ear.

Ash’s eyes haven’t moved from our daughter. Now she is crying. Ashley is looking down at her pink Vans, I know she’s nervous. Hell I’d be too. Ashlyn tried to say something, she was about to speak with her probably still raspy voice, but Ashley’s voice spoke first.

“So you’re my mommy too?” She asks with her innocent and adorable voice. She’s not longer looking at her shoes, now her hazel eyes met the matching ones from her mom.

“Y-… Y-Yeah” Ashlyn finally says, and when she opened her arms Ashley ran to her side, climbing on her mom’s bed and hiding her face on Ash’s neck. “I’ve missed you so much, little Ash.” Ashlyn says between the kisses she’s pressing in our daughter’s temple. I’m sure that now, everyone inside of this room is crying. Including me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more to go. :)


	5. Double Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is. I didn't really want to close this fic because I might be planing a sequel, but who knows, that will only happen if you guys want. :) thank you so much for reading! Until next time. x

It’s been a while since Ashlyn was released from the hospital. Almost a year to be exact. She was so excited to go home with us, Ashley couldn’t stop talking about how much she wants to play with her mom all day. We got a lot of visitors the first month, our friends were so shocked and happy when they saw Ash for the first time after so many years. The bed it’s not cold anymore and it doesn’t feel big at night. I can finally sleep wrapped on my wife's arms again. I can finally hear her heartbeat when I'm laying on her chest, feel her breath on the back of my neck when she spoons me at night. I couldn’t be happier. This is all I’ve been wanting in the past years.

Breakfast is my favorite part of the day. I love getting up a few minutes before Ashlyn, I love getting dressed only in the shirt she used the day before and my underwear. I love feeling strong arms wrapping around my waist from behind while I’m cooking, I love her lips on my neck, but I definitely love more her still raspy voice on my ear whispering Good morning, followed by I love you. Sometimes I still think that all of this is just a dream, but if it’s, please don’t wake me up.

Ash loves going to Ashley's soccer practice, she waits for her to finish it every Friday, she cheers for her daughter when she makes a goal, and she comforts Ashley if she looses a game. Which rarely happens. Ashley and Ashlyn are inseparable. They spend so much time together it surprises me sometimes. The love they have for each other it’s so strong. I hope my wife loves our new baby as much as she loves Ashley and me. Yes, I’m pregnant. Ash and I talked about having a baby again a few months after she went back to work. I haven’t told her yet, it’ll be a surprise for her birthday in a few weeks. Ashley knows, she went with me to take the blood test and promised she won’t tell her mom about it, she’s so excited to be a big sister. I am too, I didn’t think that it’d work after the first try.

One Sunday morning Ash made me breakfast in bed. It was delicious. I couldn’t help but eat almost everything she prepared for me. Especially the strawberries. I think she got a hint, and yeah the fact that my stomach grew a little didn’t help either, I'm sure she felt it when we cuddled every night. I decided that I couldn’t wait anymore and I finally told her that I was pregnant. I think I saw tears in her cheeks before she hugged me, but I didn’t care. Because I was crying too. We told our families on Ash's birthday like I originally planed. We got a lot of hugs that day, especially from our friends. Everyone is so excited, especially Ash. She has been the best with me and Ashley, the little girl can’t wait to meet her baby brother or sister. I think I should say sisters or brothers, yeah, we’re having twins. Double trouble. We found out about them the first appointment I had with the doctor, I think he was really excited, almost as much as my wife was.

I love sitting on our porch every weekend with my hand caressing my big stomach watching Ash playing soccer with our daughter. They love that game so much. I know Ash lets Ashley win every time, after all she was the best goalkeeper our high school ever had, but it’s still funny to watch my wife faking being sad after our daughter scores on her. When Ashley runs to my arms I wipe the sweat from her forehead and she smiles before she touches my belly.

“Will they play with us too?” She asks with pure innocence in her voice. I can see my wife behind my tired daughter walking to us using her t-shirt to wipe her forehead giving me a nice view of her rock abs, damn, I love when she does that, she’s so hot.

“Yeah,” I say, “They'll love to play with you baby.” She wraps her arms around my neck, and when she kissed my cheek I heard Ash clearing her throat.

“Young lady, I’m the only one allowed to kiss mommy, don’t you think?” She says, obviously joking, making us laugh.

“Nope, she’s mine.” Ashley answers still laughing. She tights her arms around my neck and gives me another long kiss on my cheek. I ended up getting kisses on both of my cheeks coming from my favorite people in the world. I’m sure that my life couldn’t be better.

The last trimester of my pregnancy was really hard. My doctor told me it’ll be, basically because I’m having two kids instead of one. I ate so much, a lot of weird things in the middle of the night. I made Ash went to the store to buy me pickles almost every day, even after midnight. Ashley laughed at me when she saw me crying while watching Disney movies with her. Hell, I cried more than her when we watched Inside Out. I ate all of our popcorn, well almost, Ash even had to make more. I can definitely say that the movie was sad, maybe it was because I was really sensitive too.

The day the twins came both Ashlyn and Ashley didn’t know what to do. Since I was a few weeks early, Ash ran around the bedroom packing my bag as fast as she could, while Ashley tried to comfort me. The pain was worth it when I finally heard our second baby crying, and the third coming just a few minutes after. Harper Grace and Daniel James were born in a cold 22nd of December night, only a two days before Christmas, definitely the best present we could ever ask for. Ashley asked if she was big enough to hold her baby sister, Ash with tears still in her face, made our oldest daughter sit on the chair next to my bed and she helped her holding her little sister. Ashley kissed Harper on her little forehead while Daniel slept on my chest.

Ashlyn was the first one up when one of our kids cried in the middle of the night. She rocked them both on her arms, don’t ask me how because I don’t know, until they fell asleep again against her chest. Ashley helped her mom doing anything she could, even choosing clothes in the morning for her little brother and sister. Ashlyn even managed to make breakfast for us every day before she had to leave for work. She never leaved the house without kissing and telling me how much she loves me and our children. I love her so much too.

The first birthday of the twins was the best. All of our friends came to our house to celebrate, even Ashlyn's brother made the quick trip from Satellite beach to finally see Dani and Harper in person, instead of through a computer screen. The day he came to see Ash after she left the hospital was really emotional, I never thought I'd see my strong brother-in-law crying again. Not after Ash's funeral. His son is really cute too. I was surprised to see Ashlyn's mom at the birthday party of my kids, she apologized with tears on her eyes about everything, she hugged her daughter as Ashlyn told her everything was alright, and that she never stopped loving her mom. Tammye even hugged me that day before she went to celebrate with everyone else.

So now here I am, sitting on my towel watching my wife and children running around the Hawaiian beach. Ash decided that we should take summer vacations a few months after Ashley's 10th birthday, and what is better and some salty beach air? Ashley is laughing at Harper, the little girl is trying to catch her brother using her still short and chubby legs to run after Dani. They got bored of making sand castles, well, Daniel did, he kicked them with his little feet making his sisters mad at him. I couldn’t help but laugh at Harper's angry face.

When Ashlyn sat next to me and wrapped her arm around my naked waist I closed my eyes before I let my face hide on her neck. I felt her fingers playing with my hair and I melted at her touch. She kissed my temple and let out a long breath.

“That guy is looking at you, babe.” Ash whispers to my ear, I had to bit my lip before I laughed at my jealous wife. If only she knew how many girls were staring at her while she was playing with our kids.

“Well, you better make clear that I’m yours then.” I say, lifting my head form her neck. I saw her looking at a surfer, who indeed was staring at me, I think Ash was right when she told me how good I looked in my brand new black bathing suit. I made eye contact with the guy for a second before I took my wife's jaw with my left hand and kissed her. "You're a better surfer than him, by the way." I whisper close to her ear as I gently bit her earlobe. I felt my wife’s arms around my waist, and her fingers tickling my skin before we heard our daughter in front of us.

“That’s gross.” Ashley says before she runs back to her brother, finally reaching him. Daniel laughs louder when both of his sisters tickled him, showing his toothless smile.

I look at our kids smiling, I love them so much. I rest my head on Ash's shoulder and she kissed my forehand. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. The years without her are still in my memory, but every time I hear her voice or her breath, feel her touch, they are long forgotten. Sometimes I still wake up scared in the middle of the night, but when I feel her body next to mine, I smile. I even like hearing her snoring, I’ve tried to record her with my phone because she refuses to believe me, it reminds me that she’s here with me, and she will forever. Because she’s the love of my life, and she finally came back to me. She finally made me feel like home again.


End file.
